I am affected today by a close friend who is suffering with severe depression and anxiety. She’s a smart, strong, independent, professional woman and most people who know her do not know of her daily struggles. She has in many ways perfected her ‘mask’.

Like most of us she has lived through many troubles. In her case she seems to have had far more than her fair share of the really big ones, and in her middle years is tormented with the question ‘What’s the point?’

On the one hand she is awesome at what she does - her pain and struggles have set the path for her to be a wonderful advocate for those who are also finding life too difficult, especially the children. She has empathy and sympathy and a deep, experiential understanding of how hard life can be.

On the other hand, there are days when she simply doesn’t want to be here and can’t really work out why she still is. If she was giving me advice, all the thoughts, doubts and anxieties she is reliving over and over, the guilt, the fear, the futileness – she would be telling me that it’s all OK, that it’s so important to forgive myself and let go of the guilt, that I’m needed in the world and that I make the world a better place for being here. And yet for herself she finds it too hard.

I actually get where she is at. I understand the ‘what’s the point?’ because it brings up the big questions of life that we are all affirming or denying our own understanding of, in every moment of our existence.

Why are we here?

What is our purpose?

How can I love myself?

How can I know that I am loved?

What is the point of living?

It can be easy when we are experiencing the ‘highs’ of life to say things like;

it’s all about the journey

life wasn’t meant to be easy but there is always a silver lining

you can find good in every person

it’s all about loving ourselves and knowing we are loved

what doesn’t kill us makes us stronger…

But when we are living the ‘lows’ sometimes these responses seem very trite.

I also know the experience of very low points – family tragedy, broken relationships, family estrangement, physical set-backs and hardships, unmet expectations, financial struggles, natural disasters, major accidents, loss of loved ones – the list goes on, like it does for all of us – if we live long enough to experience the fullness of life.

I also know the wonderful ‘highs’ – great relationships, great family times, having children and grandchildren, surviving extreme hardships, experiencing the kind heart of others, knowing the joy of being in the right place, tender moments with nature, feeling my universal connection.

In those moments, it is easier to find some of the answers we seek. But I also think we have these great moments to highlight and help us find the harder questions - if we have the courage to open our minds and hearts. It’s an opportunity to extend ourselves beyond the day to day and see the bigger picture.

Then when we are at our low points, and the questions come unbidden and unwanted, we can more easily have the courage to see the answers.

And I don’t just think it is the answers that are important, even though they are what we are all seeking, and sometimes find it so hard when we can’t find them.

I actually think it’s the questions that are the important things.

If we didn’t have the highs and lows, would we know what our questions are?

If we didn’t know our questions, how can we experience the journey and find our connection?

Finding our connection and interconnection is what the bigger picture is all about.

Seeing the bigger picture helps us find our place in the universe.

Finding our place helps us know that we are loved.

It takes courage to live life with a whole heart and live the full journey.

Finding the questions are as important as finding the answers.

And a great place to start is with ‘What’s the point?’



Be happy.
Merelyn Carter

Merelyn’s writing is supported in part by the sale of her books. Autobiography - ‘The Deepest Part of Me’.  ‘Inspire’ – inspirational reflections for your life’s journey.  ‘Stories behind the Songs’ and her first children’s picture book ‘To The Moon and Back - Grandma’s Rocket Ship Adventure’. To find out more about her work and to support her through the purchase of her writings and music, please go to www.carterandcarter.com.au